Mental health research has discovered:
× Events alone do not create good or bad emotions
= Self-talk of events creates good or bad emotions
We all have negative self-talk statements running through our minds at all times. Our internal monologue is a never-silent stream of self-talk statements, which create either good or bad emotions. The following ten destructive thought patterns are the most common negative self-talk statements:
1. All or Nothing. This destructive self-talk states that something is perceived as all good or all bad: If I don’t get an A in math, it’s the same as failing.
2. Overgeneralization. Making rules and drawing conclusions to apply to every situation: Mary didn’t want to go to the movies; nobody wants to go on a date with me.
3. Ignoring the Positive. Only paying attention to problems and weaknesses: My friends tell me I am a good golfer, but they are only trying to make me feel better.
4. Inferring. Thinking another person has negative motives: The only reason Bobby gave me a hug is because he wants to use my car.
5. Mind Reading. Thinking you know the thoughts and desires of another person: She told me she’s going to visit grandpa but she’s really going to visit grandma.
6. Magnification. The pattern of convincing yourself that it’s the little things that really upset us. It was not an innocent mistake, she refused to look directly at me.
7. Minimization. When you ignore positive things as being insignificant. Well, I got a raise but it’s not even close to what I need.
8. Infallibility. The belief that your feelings represent reality. Ross, nobody thinks Tom insulted you, except you.
9. Labeling. The practice of name-calling with the use of derogatory labels for others. Mary is the absolute biggest klutz; she breaks everything.
10. Fortune Telling. The false understanding that you are capable of predicting the future. It won’t do me any good to talk to Jane, she just doesn't listen.
By recognizing and replacing a negative and destructive self-talk phrase with a positive and constructive self-talk phrase, it can give us the capacity to feel good and act great.
Destructive Self-Talk Constructive Self-Talk
Something always goes wrong The Spirit is my daily guide
I worry about everything The Father is my provider
He makes my blood boil Christ empowers me to love
I am usually right Jesus Christ is my Lord